Later.

Please people, don't do drugs. Don't ever start using drugs. Don't even "sample" them. Later.

Later.

I saw the METS this week but I didn't catch a fly ball

Well, I have had an eventful week. I spent two days in offshore training courses in New Iberia and one day training in Houma; both in Louisiana. The first day of training was all class room. I have never worked offshore before so it was interesting to me and I did learn a lot of good stuff. Day two was a little different.

It started off with four hours of class room except when we had to swing from two different level platforms. That wasn’t bad. Out of thirteen of us, all but one was able to accomplish this feat. Then we go to lunch and come back for water survival.


It started off okay. We had to jump in and get in a rubber life raft. No problem. Then we floated together as a group and swam in pairs for rescue, and then we floated with our coveralls. That was actually pretty neat. Take a pair of standard coveralls, tie the legs together, put them around your neck with the zipper facing you, stretch out the coveralls in front of you and then bring your hands out of the water and clap them under water, under the coveralls. They will fill up with air then you tuck the arms between your legs, lean back and float. Every now and then you have to wet the coveralls to keep them more air tight.

Then came the METS-Modular Egress Training Simulator. In the video, it shows aluminum frame with a single chair in the middle. We did that also. We actually did that first. They said if you can complete this, you will be more likely to pass the METS. With only twelve of us left, one failed and did not complete the chair and one did complete the chair but quit right after. Now we are done from thirteen to ten heading into the simulator.

This video gives a good example of what I went through. But there are some differences. Here is how our setup was:

Two divers in the simulator with only goggles on and two outside with SCBAs. We were not allowed to have goggles but were allowed to use nose clips if you had one. I am thirty-four years old and I have never been able to go under water without holding my nose. So I went out side and got a nose clip of an escape respirator from one of our local facilities that produce chlorine and used it. It is not designed to be used under water but it was better than nothing. I figured there was chlorine in the water; close enough for me.

You must complete five successful consecutive runs in the simulator to pass. Two were straight down and three were inverted. The straight down were cake. The three inverted tested me, my abilities, and my fears. I am somewhat claustrophobic I guess. I have no problem being strapped to a chair. I have no problem being inverted and hanging upside down. I do have a problem with doing this and not being able to breath and having death sitting in the chair next to my ass. The divers in the simulator had no air to offer if I got in a bind. They could only help me to unbuckle and get out. The SCUBA divers were to far away to offer air so you are sitting there upside down, eyes closed, in the water and trying not to panic. I did make it through the course, but I panicked more than once. On the fourth run, I took in water. And if I had more than one more to do, I would have probably called it off right there and hit the showers. But with one more run left, I figured I would go on through with it.

The card is good for four years. They better use me all they can in the next four years because I have no intention of ever going through that shit again. If I had known exactly what was in store for my future before I signed up for the class, I would not have ever gone-no bullshit.

Looking back days later it doesn’t seem as bad but I still remember the feeling I had hanging on the side of the pool after that fourth run. But more importantly, the feeling I had under water when that buckle did not operate as smooth as it should have. And that memory will keep me from ever going through it again. If you have to attend this class, I would recommend swimming in the hotel pool the night before. Practice holding your breath under water inverted and anything else you can think of, and update your resume. I did and you can bet your sweet ass that I DID NOT include offshore survival training in it. Land based work only for this land lover.

You know, the two worst ways of dying in my book is fire and drowning. I am currently asking myself why the hell did I agree to go to an offshore platform 150 miles from land. Later.

He may or may not be a big hoax, but he IS a big disappointment/liar/useless turd/non-American/illegal alien/etc... Later.

Later.

New site to kill time

I found this web site listed on another website. It is amazing how you can start looking for a four wheeler part at 4 pm and end up watching midgets spanking bikers dressed like nurses at 4:15 pm. Anyway, go check this site out. I signed up just to leave smart ass comments. I have already left a couple and the night is still young. I hope they are not looking for consoling or support...I am fresh out toots. But I do have plenty of sarcasm. I always have ample supply of that shit on stock, baby. Later.

Go and check this guy out. Later.

Thank goodness

Thank goodness they found the balloon boy. I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven!. Later.

Funny shit

Here are a few more “texts from last night” I just had to share. This website is funny as hell.


"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.

We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.


Later.

Here is a updated weather report. It just keeps getting better baby. Later.

Video to kill time

Here is a link to a video of super slow bullets in flight. They slow the video down to 1 million frames per second. It is over nine minutes of nothing but bullets hitting all sorts of targets including metal, ice, paper, etc… In the end they even have shot gun pellets hitting targets. Pretty neat shit. Later.

Nobel Peace Prize my ass

What a load of bullshit. Giving anything to that turd other than a pink slip is wrong in my opinion. They ought to give him a boot on the ass straight out the door of the White House. That is the media for you though. It is amazing what the lemmings will do isn't it? Could someone please tell me five things that this punk has done to earn this award? No...you can't unless you make it up. That is because he hasn't done shit to get this people. If I could only find a way to pull a dimocrap's head out of their ass long enough to have them hear his bullshit and see the truth. Piss on obama and piss on whomever supports him. You all will be part of the demise of this great country. Later.

She is up and running again!

Well, I did get my truck back up and running last Monday. When the u-joint broke, it damaged the drive shaft and gear yoke in the rear axle. To replace both of these parts was $840 plus miscellaneous hardware. I liked to have shit my pants at the counter when she told me the price.

So I started searching salvage yards for the parts. I searched as far as Silsbee, Texas which is well over a hundred miles form the house. No one had what I needed in stock. After days of searching and two trips to Scooters, I had a whole new set up. I had to replace more parts than I needed, but it is now a beefier set up. My truck is a 2001. I have a drive shaft, gear yoke flange, and transmission yoke for a 2003 F-250. It works and I couldn’t be happier. And the cost, only $125 for everything. Scooters is west of Leesville off of Hwy 8. Go check him out. Mr. Eugene was very helpful. Later.

Beautiful weekend coming

Check that out! 54 degrees on opening day of deer season. I can't remember ever going in the woods on opening day with a jacket on. Normally I am wearing a short sleeve shirt, Deet, and sweating my rear end off. Gotta love it. Now if I can only escape work. Later.

Campfire canon

Here is a video of the campfire canon in action. Listen carefully to the dialogue in the back ground. My brother was cutting up jalapenos and then went to the bathroom. Too funny. Later.

A couple of videos

Here are the videos of my F-250 going through a mud hole at the lease. I wanted to test the tires while someone was there to pull me out if needed.

First video

Second video

Later.

A few pictures from the camping trip

The big holes are from the 0.50 BMG. The smaller holes are from my AR-15 0.223.

Dinner Monday night. Turtle.

This is the campfire cannon we use to launch can goods with spray paint cans.

Here is my brother's 0.50 BMG. Later.

People of WalMart

Here is a link to a website devoted to Wal-Martians. It has people shopping at Wal-Mart and some of their vehicles in the parking lot. Later.