Pornocchio

Pornocchio

A person who embellishes their sexcapades to sound cooler.

Guy 1: "Did Tommy tell you about his all-nighter with that hot chick from the bar last night?" Guy 2: "Yeah right dude, he's such a Pornocchio. She told me nothing happened."

Later.

Vegetarian

Vegetarian-

A bad hunter. Someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.

The vegetarian was forced to subsist on slower prey, such as the broccoli and carrot.

Dick Inches

Dick Inches-

Arbitrary (and usually incorrect) units of measurement used mostly by males. Derives from men overestimating their penis size. Dick inches are much shorter than actual inches. Hence a guy can claim to have a 9 inch penis when it is actually closer to 5-6 inches. The term "dick inches" is usually used when over-estimating non-penis measurements.

Fellow one: "Finally! There's a parking spot!"
Fellow two: "No way, man...You can't park within 30 feet of a stop sign."
Fellow one: "There's plenty of room."
Fellow two: "Yeah, only if you're measuring in dick inches."

Later.

Beers at the big house

How about that beer summit? Here is a link with a video of the four boozers sitting around some cheap ass plastic furniture on the White House lawn. I think that obama did good by suggesting the meeting after what transpired. I believe that if he would have kept his liberal dimocrap mouth shut then no one else would have ever heard of this incident. The fact that obama spoke about something he knew nothing about and blamed whitey really sours my feelings for him; not that I was a fan prior by any means. It is just one more reason to hate the cocksucker. I doubt I will ever run out of reasons to hate him. He can’t stop screwing up. He is in way over his head and refuses to admit it. He will allow our great country to be run down possibly beyond repair before stepping aside and allowing a qualified candidate do the job. Later.

I can only imagine that this would be close to what is going to happen. I would not go to the White House and drink beers with that racist piece of shit or Gates. I would not bow down and be their honkey bitch. I would tell them both to kiss my HAIRY WHITE ASS! Later.

Actually, this cartoon is not that funny...because it is so close to being true that it is freighting. Later.

A couple more redneck photos. Later.

Check out this bar-be-que. I would have used a more classic vehicle but it is a good idea. Imagine a 69 Camaro. I may just have to start looking for me a new pit. Later.

Let me know if you don't get it. Later.

More like his TRUE color was coming out. Later.

Painful but true

Here is the entire article talking about cut backs in California.



SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a revised $85 billion budget Tuesday that he said contained "the good, the bad and the ugly," including additional cuts to child welfare programs, health care for the poor and AIDS prevention efforts.
Democrats immediately protested the social spending reductions and threatened to block his political agenda during his final months in office.

Here is the thing; the system, any system, is not designed to support all of the government funded agencies and give a-ways that they try to do. And do not get me wrong, some of these programs are really great and help a lot of people that need help. And that is our jobs folks as human beings…helping others in time of need if we can. It is not providing paychecks to welfare recipients for generation after generation but to get someone back on their feet. But when times get tough the free programs are the first to get cut. I hate to see that California is in this position but they got themselves there. I am glad they have a governor that is not as worried about his political career as he is doing what is right. If only your president would act as if he never had to be reelected we would be in a better America. I have to go to work now, but I could talk about how we need to change things all day. I am full of suggestions that would work; I just don’t have the horsepower to get them done so I blog about them to fire up others that may be able to. Later.

I am going to end my search today with this wonderful cartoon. I couldn't imagine finding one better or more true than this one. Even obama supporters don't like his stupid ass anymore. Well, we still have 3 and a half years of his useless ass screwing even more shit up thanks to ignorant bastards like this guy who voted for him. Later.

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Rehabilitation

Rehabilitation. Does it work? Is it possible for someone to be rehabilitated? Go check this story out and you tell me if you think this bitch is fixable. There is no amount of therapy that will rehabilitate this woman. This woman should never be allowed on the street for the rest of her life. And if she will never be allowed out then why keep her alive?

You know, there are a lot more crimes like this today than there were 60 years ago. Why is that? Some blame TV, some blame drugs, and others blame the media. I say the blame should be put on those who commit the crimes. Now, if we allow these people to live and reproduce, only more will come around. Think about it.

I am sure that she will plead insanity. Obviously some one who is sane would not do something this horrific. But it does not change the fact that she did in fact do it. And she should be held accountable for her actions and I do not feel that the rest of her life in a mental institution will benefit her or my pocket book. Unbelievable. Later.

We went and saw The Ugly Truth tonight. Not a bad movie; worth going to see. It didn’t have a strong finish in my opinion. One thing that annoyed me was the way they kept insinuating that Gerard’s character was falling for Katherine’s character. I knew they would end up together before the movie ever started. I did not need the obvious pointed out. Perhaps the producers assume that most people are too stupid to figure that shit out. May be they are right…obama is president. Apparently the majority of Americans are stupid jackasses. Here is some ugly truth: obama is your president America. I feel like puking just thinking about it. Later.

More obama hatin jokes

Whats the difference between Obama and a pile of dog shit?

Eventully the shit will dry up turn white and go away!





Know why Obamas going to raise taxes on asprin?

Cause their white and they work.





Did you hear that the White House gardener was fired?

He asked where the spade and the hoe were!





The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of President Obama.
The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. The President ordered a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:

The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. People are spitting on the wrong side.




Q. Why doesn't the Church of Obama Messiah light candles?

A. Obama wants to keep his followers in the dark.





In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor; "Barocky Road".

Barocky Road is a blend of half-Vanilla, half-Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes. The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow. The cost is $100.00 per scoop.

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you. Thus, you are left with an empty Wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream.

Are you feeling stimulated yet people? I feel it...IN MY ASS! Later.

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.'
The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me an Obama fan. Later.

Lifted these from a fellow obama hater. Later.

You want to know why we even heard of the "swine flu"? There are worse strings of flu that have come and gone without national coverage. Here is some insight for the ignorant: Swine flu was blown so far out of proportion to help make a case for obama's health care reform. Don't you see it you damn sheeple? The media forces this shit in our face because they are supporters of that useless turd in the White House living on MY dime. I promise you that I did not vote for that piece of shit. And I will tell any one who did that they can lick my balls! Later.

This one is more accurate. The damn dimocraps are killing the golden goose by taxing our ass. You can not multiply money by dividing it. Damn cocksuckers. Later.

The only thing this cartoon is missing is the label on the fellow on the table. He should be called Joe Taxpayer or even Joe Worker; because that is who has to put the bill for this stupid idiot's health care reform. You want to fix the health care problem? It is simple really. QUIT GIVING THE SHIT AWAY TO THOSE WHO HAVE NOT EARNED THE RIGHT TO HEALTH CARE! Nothing is designed to be given away and still make a profit. F#cking morons. Later.

Later.

Here is a light switch cover idea for you. Later.

The best site you will visit today...except for maybe that gay midget dressed like nurses whipping bikers gay porn you are always looking at

Here is a website for over 4,500 Cajun recipes. I received it from a friend and had to pass something this good on to everyone else. I plan on trying a couple this weekend. Later.

Oscar Mayer gets the head in

Above is a picture of the Oscar Mayor mobile after it crashed into someone’s house July 17, 2009 in Wisconsin. It was turning around in the driveway, and while trying to back out, the mobile lurched forward hitting the deck on the house and cracking the foundation. It could be worse. At least it was not the back door. Forget 69…give me some Heinz 57. I wonder if the homeowner considered turning the water hose on these two? That house was asking for it. Did you see the paint job on that sexy beast? I read that shortly afterward there was smoke coming out of the chimney of the house. Well, I guess this proves the old promise…but baby, I will only put the head in. I could go on all day here folks. Later.

This would work. Not only for health care but for retirement and other benefits. It sickens me to think of how far out of whack this country is right now. Later.

Later.

Coonass Values

A coonass woman calls her mother on the phone and says, Mai chere' 'I'm divorcing T-Boy. All dat he wants is crawfish, beer and anal sex, and my ass hole is now the size of a quarter, when it used to be about the size of a dime.'

Her mother says: Cloteihl 'You're married to a multi-millionaire Oil Man, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion in River Ranch, you drive a Ferrari, you get $1,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all dat away over 15 cents!'

Later.

Please...some one stop the insanity! Later.

Do yourself a favor and go watch this.

Thomas Paine's American Revolution

Later.

If we could only make democraps think this way

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

Later.

Another blog that shares some of my views

I found this blog the other day and thought he had some good views. He is a black guy that doesn’t like obama. I mean really doesn’t like obama. (And yes, I purposely do not capitalize his name.) Later.

Today we saw The Hangover. This was a laugh out load in the theater kind of movie. Well worth going to the theater to see it. It showed more naked men than I cared to see but at least there was a tit or two to compensate for the sausages. The above picture is a scene from the movie where the guys are watching security video of the three of them plus the bachelor were stealing Mike Tyson’s pet tiger. Tyson singing Phil Collins is pretty good too. Make sure you watch the movie till the credits. While the credits are rolling they show pictures of the night that none of them can remember. Good stuff. Later.

We went and saw My Sister’s Keeper last weekend for our weekly movie. It was a good movie; somewhat of a chick flick. It kind of made me appreciate the family I have a little more. Worth watching- no violence, cussing, or any other usual hollywierd tactics they use to sell movies. Later.